2.07.2005

Cabbage Boobs and Wandering Wanna-Be Walker

Tonight I uttered words I never thought in a million years would come out of my mouth: "I need to change the cabbage leaves in my bra."

Boo and I have decided to stop breastfeeding. Completely. The long goodbye is, today, the big huge PAIN in the boob. My breasts hurt so much, I can barely pick up anything. The left one is totally engorged; the right seems to be taking to the lack of breastfeeding just fine. The right one needs to have a talk with the left one, because I just can't take this pain. Plus, I feel like an idiot walking around work with one engorged boob. I feared leakage all day at work, but luckily I stuck breastpads in this morning and they helped save me from two big wet stains on my shirt.

I must admit, I am pretty sad about the end of breastfeeding Boo. I knew it was coming, so I cherished our final sessions. Yet I think Boo has been trying to tell me he is ready to stop. He hasn't been focusing much while nursing, and he would pull off the breast a lot and then stare up at me and smile. It was as if he were saying, "It's ok, mama. I'm ready to stop too."

So back to the cabbage leaves...it is recommended that to help alleviate the pain from engorgement, you place washed cabbage leaves between your breasts and your bra. There is supposed to be something that is released in the cabbage leaves that helps bring down the engorgement. I tried this wacky method, and it seems to have helped a bit (my rightie, at least, seems to have taken to the cabbage). The problem now is that because of my extreme ezcema and dermatitis, my breasts are now itchy - a possible allergic reaction to the cabbage. After all, it's not every day I have produce on my breasts.

I hope this doesn't last too long. It's hard enough emotionally to say goodbye to nursing my little Boo. Tonight was difficult for me. We usually nurse when I come home, but not tonight. And not any other night from here on out. It makes me sad, really. But I know it's time. I have done what is best for my son. He has benefited from 8 months of nursing, and so have I. It has been an amazing, incredible, lovely experience.

He's growing so fast. He's been trying to pull himself up in his crib, on the couch, on the bed. He can stand for so long just holding onto a railing, even one-handed. He has, on a couple of occasions, "walked" himself a short distance while holding onto something. He's learning to cruise without any indication he wants to crawl. Perhaps he really will skip the whole crawling thing.

Hopefully, my breasts will stop being engorged by the time he really starts cruising! Oy, they hurt.

0 comments: