3.01.2005

Where are we?

There's too much happening right now. Too much going on. I love a constant buzz of activity but these days and nights it is non-stop GO. Go here, do this, organize that, take care of this. On and on and on. Sometimes I just have to STOP and the first question that pops in my mind is "Where are we?" I wonder where the light is at the end of the tunnel and I think it is sometime in the next two months, but that thought causes my whole body to tense up and my bones to crack from the pressure. Argh. Ugh. I'm tired (new mom, what's new, right? No, this is more than mommy tired. This is I-don't-know-what-is-going-on-tired-but-I'm-so-tired-that-I'm-an-energetic-spazz-ball tired).

To top it all off, Boo is going through a massive swirl of changes. His vocabulary is astonishing to me. I'm a first time mom so he's probably perfectly normal, but I swear he is having conversations with me and answering my questions. His babble is starting to take shape, and his inflections are so telling. Who is this little person and what has he done with my tiny baby?

Boo just does not want to crawl. He turned nine months old yesterday. Hooray! But why doesn't he want to crawl? He just wants to stand. To stand and walk with assistance. Or lunge himself onto something that catches his eye.

His eating schedule isn't the same every day now. Sometimes he'll eat six ounces in one sitting, and other times he wants eight or nine. Sometimes he'll scarf down his solid foods, and sometimes he just wants a few bites and he's done.

What is consistent still is his happy demeanor. He loves to smile at everyone. He loves to laugh at whatever he deems to be funny. He loves to try to get your attention so he can smile at you. We were renting movies the other night and the man behind the desk wasn't paying attention to Boo, yet Boo just kept staring at him with this big teasing smile, as if to say "Come on, I know you want to say how cute I am! Everybody does!." He likes to play games with us and see what he can get away with, the entire time donning that mischievous grin of his. He's the best.

With all of the madness that surrounds my happy little family these days, Boo is the happy calm that somehow keeps us sane and reminds us of where we are, what we are doing, and why we are doing it. I feel calmer just writing about him.

(Pause)

Now, it's back to the grind...

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