7.14.2005

Babyproof This

I've given up on completely babyproofing our home. What the hell. There are a million gizmos and gadgets that cost a billion dollars once you have purchased all of the blind cord winders, fireplace gates, top of stair gates, bottom of stair gates, stove top guards, oven guards, magnetic cabinet locks and keys (keys sold separately, imagine that), toilet locks, door stoppers, doorknob cushions, corner cushions, blah blah blah...

We've plastered our house with outlet covers - the basic ones that work just fine, thank you, and not the three-times-as-expensive-flip ones (that have their own problems). We have a gate at the top of our stairs and bottom. We moved breakables from the bottom kitchen shelves to the top and left the tupperware and acrylic/plastic stuff in the bottom shelves for Boo to play with if he feels like opening the cupboards there. We also bought a bunch of crap that we are realizing will take us three weeks to install and may be used for a total of one week before Boo figures out how to get around them. We tried the cord winders, which quite frankly, are the biggest, cheaply-made pieces of crap ever invented. CRAP, I say!

Here's the ultimate babyproofing in my book: watch your freakin' baby at all times. Like a hawk. Don't leave them in the room alone. You can't prevent every fall or cut or bruise, but you can do your damn best. Buy what you really, truly need. But remember that the baby industry is just that: an industry. An industry that knows how deep the fears of new moms run, and will manipulate you into thinking you need to buy the moon in order to keep your child safe. They have to make moolah and they know you will spend it.

So spend it wisely when it comes to babyproofing. I bet you'll find you don't need as much as the world of "baby experts" tell you that you need.

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