8.16.2005

Coffee & donuts

This morning I got some coffee and donuts. On my way home at the onramp light, there was a woman and a dog. She was holding a sign - you know the ones - "Please help. Homeless family. Anything is appreciated. God bless." Normally I drive by and try not to look. Today I looked, and I saw her. As my car moved forward to the light, I rolled down my window and gave her a few dollars. She moved toward me with a smile and thanked me and said "God bless you." I think I told her "best of luck to you" or something inane like that. As the light turned green, she moved back to her spot and held up her sign again, waiting. I drove on, and as I merged onto the highway I explained to Boo that we gave that woman money because even though we may not have a lot, we do have enough - and she has nothing.

And then I started crying. On the highway. I bit my lip and cried behind my sunglasses. I used to give money to the homeless more often, but this was the first time since college. What a selfish bitch I can be, concerned about where we should eat dinner or lunch when thousands of people in this country don't have those options. It felt good to give her money and to see her smile, which I believe to be genuine, but I also felt like shit. I didn't know if that woman was for real or one of the many fakes (how sad it is that there are people who are well off that fake being homeless). Perhaps she would use the money for alcohol or drugs, but I prefer to think she used it for water and food, for herself and her dog, and her family.

We have so much in life, and we spend too much time bitching about what we don't have. We should at least be able to count on having each other, to help and to care. I wish I could say that I did more with my life to help others. Maybe as Boo grows up, he will inspire me to get off my lazy, selfish ass and actually do something. I hope he grows into a loving, caring boy who helps take care of the world.

1 comments:

Beanhead said...

I am a giver and usually do give to people when I see them out on the corner. Good for you for helping her out.

We had some a few years ago that had a sign that said No lie.. To honest to lie I need beer money.
I was shocked and of course drove right past them.

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