2.24.2006

Got Mom Envy?

Are you green with mom envy? There's an interesting/entertaining article in this month's issue of Baby Talk that touches on the subject of moms being envious of other moms. The grass being greener on the other side sort of idea. The article breaks down the envy lines into categories such as the Martha Mom (always has an immaculate house), the Gifted Child's mom, the Bombshell mom, the Know-It-All mom, and then You (as in, other moms are envious of something you have that they don't).

I know moms that fall into all of these stereotypes, and I have to say I'm so tired of the damn cliches. Do I envy them? I don't think it's so much envy as it is curiosity. If their house is cleaner than mine all the time and they have more kids and a crazier schedule, I just wonder how the hell they do it and hope to pick up some secret tips. The Bombshell moms though--should I envy them? The ones who work super hard to get back into marathon-running shape. And when I say super hard, I'm talking about the ones who just work out. Period. I don't consciously work out and I don't beat myself up over it, so I don't have any unrealistic expectations of being a Bombshell mom. I like to think that I feel comfortable enough in my own skin to not be envious of these moms who have fantastic things going for them. I like to think that I'm more supportive of them. Envy seems to breed resentment or anger, and I don't think I like the underlying tone of the article. Aren't there enough mommy wars out there? Do we need another article pitting us against each other, even if only in bringing out the fact that we sometimes covet what someone else has, that we are sometimes -- gasp! -- human?

Hmm. Maybe sometimes I do long for a flatter stomach, or a cleaner house or more super mama knowledge on how to handle things, but I wouldn't call it envy. If I truly wanted something out of envy I would work to get it, right? I love who I am with all the things others would see as "faults" and I know I am the best mama for my son, and that my son is the best child in the world for me. I think all moms feel this way, if they allow themselves to. You do know this, right? That you are perfect the way that you are, and that you are the best mom in the world? If a magazine hasn't told you that lately, let me tell you: you are, and you don't need to be envious of anybody else. Am I envious of you? No. I support you and hope that you flaunt what you've got because girl, we've all got it going on in one way or another.

5 comments:

Zephra said...

Being a Mom is actually one area that I am confident in. I don't really envy any Moms. The ones with clean houses...They are nuts. I don't think I would want to spend all mu time cleaning or freaking out if the kids make a mess. The Hot moms...Well, I will never be one of them and I am okay with that. Besides, how can you be hot with 4 kids, a stroller, dirty diapers, and a huge baby bag in tow?

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Nicole said...

I'm proud of you ladies. I wish I could be as confident. I find that I'm envious of the moms w/clean houses. I just can't do it. But, as for the hot moms, I just don't have the energy to care that much about that.

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Beanhead said...

I think that envy hits us all at some point or other, but i have learned that what looks like the perfect life from the outside may be way worse than mine on the inside. I am pretty content with my mom status. Why because my kids are good kids and they love me because I am me..:)

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Bridgermama said...

All these articles do in perpetuate unnecessary, nasty ma competitions. It's hard enough figuring this mom thing out without comparing yourself to every other mama out there.

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ernmeg said...

Amen, Bridgermama. :) I look to other mammas for tips and tricks - you can learn something from everyone, it seems

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