7.22.2006

Big Kid

My son tonight has moved into his toddler bed. We were having no luck with him sleeping in his crib transitioned into a toddler bed (he's very set in his routine: he freaked without the side railing), so we went ahead and bought a little toddler bed with cars on it. He loved playing in it today, but it was a little more difficult at bedtime, which is usually a peice of cake. He protested just a tiny bit, but then I climbed in with him for a minute, then got out and recited his bedtime story. I sat beside his bed for a little while and then he fell asleep. I am not sure what it will be like when he wakes up and finds himself in the new bed and not his crib, but for now he is sleeping soundly, in his big kid bed.

As he gets older, I see more and more of myself and my husband in him. His actions, his expressions, his likes and dislikes. It's really quite an odd realization in the moment it happens.

7.09.2006

Papa & Son

This week provided me with one of those cheeky smile, "ahhhh" moments in life. The moments when you realize that right then, right there, all is right in the world - you f eel safe, secure, at peace.

The moment came to me during Boo's weekly swim class. It was decided (mainly by me) that the swim class would be my husband's time with Boo. I've got music class and oh, about 25 extra hours of alone time with our son each week, and my husband doesn't really have solid Papa & Son time. I was going to stay home, but was convinced (by my husband) to at least go and sit in the stands during this session.

So there I sat for forty minutes, watching the loves of my life splash and play in the water. About ten minutes into the session it hit me: my husband really is an amazing father, and my son is safe and loved and secure when in his care. They are fine on their own, just the two of them, without me. I've known this of course, but right at that moment, I felt it. An amazing wave of joy and peace surged through me, beaming as I watched them enjoy each other's company.

I'm the typical "mother knows best" freak. I spend the most time with my son, so whenever I see my husband doing something that isn't exactly the way I would do it, I freak out a little. Whenever my husband breaks my son's and my routine a bit, I'm annoyed. When he calls watching tv while his son plays in the background Papa & Son time, I'm miffed and feel like I have to step in to actually be the one to play with my son even though I just spent hours alone with him toting all over town doing a million activities and dealing with his tantrums on my own. Ok, now I'm digressing a little from my point of this post... I'm a little more cautious with him, I hover a little more, and I have faster reflexes to respond to those "oh crap" moments. But my husband takes great care of Boo in his own way. He would never let anything bad happen to him, and I know that if I am not there, he places all of his energy and focus on Boo.

Watching the two of them from a distance, I knew they would be ok without me. My husband loves my son more than the moon, and would protect him from harm and love him fiercely just as much as I would. I don't need to be with the one with my son every waking moment for him to be safe and secure; if my husband is with him, I can be confident that all is well. And that, I think, helps me feel more at peace than I have ever been. I am blessed to have these two beautiful boys in my life and even more blessed that they are so in love with each other as I am with them. Plus, I am learning to shed my protective mama bear skin, just a little, and that, I think, is a very good thing.

7.07.2006

Late

It is 1 am and I was going to update this blog but am too tired now. Big day of lots of work ahead tomorrow, or rather, today... topped off by a night out with the girls. Looking forward to that very much. If you would like to read a recent post by me, please visit my post about our trip to Zurich at www.urbanmamas.com. It was FAB and I will write more about the actual trip on this blog another time... just not now, at 1:00 in the morning.

Cheers!