7.09.2006

Papa & Son

This week provided me with one of those cheeky smile, "ahhhh" moments in life. The moments when you realize that right then, right there, all is right in the world - you f eel safe, secure, at peace.

The moment came to me during Boo's weekly swim class. It was decided (mainly by me) that the swim class would be my husband's time with Boo. I've got music class and oh, about 25 extra hours of alone time with our son each week, and my husband doesn't really have solid Papa & Son time. I was going to stay home, but was convinced (by my husband) to at least go and sit in the stands during this session.

So there I sat for forty minutes, watching the loves of my life splash and play in the water. About ten minutes into the session it hit me: my husband really is an amazing father, and my son is safe and loved and secure when in his care. They are fine on their own, just the two of them, without me. I've known this of course, but right at that moment, I felt it. An amazing wave of joy and peace surged through me, beaming as I watched them enjoy each other's company.

I'm the typical "mother knows best" freak. I spend the most time with my son, so whenever I see my husband doing something that isn't exactly the way I would do it, I freak out a little. Whenever my husband breaks my son's and my routine a bit, I'm annoyed. When he calls watching tv while his son plays in the background Papa & Son time, I'm miffed and feel like I have to step in to actually be the one to play with my son even though I just spent hours alone with him toting all over town doing a million activities and dealing with his tantrums on my own. Ok, now I'm digressing a little from my point of this post... I'm a little more cautious with him, I hover a little more, and I have faster reflexes to respond to those "oh crap" moments. But my husband takes great care of Boo in his own way. He would never let anything bad happen to him, and I know that if I am not there, he places all of his energy and focus on Boo.

Watching the two of them from a distance, I knew they would be ok without me. My husband loves my son more than the moon, and would protect him from harm and love him fiercely just as much as I would. I don't need to be with the one with my son every waking moment for him to be safe and secure; if my husband is with him, I can be confident that all is well. And that, I think, helps me feel more at peace than I have ever been. I am blessed to have these two beautiful boys in my life and even more blessed that they are so in love with each other as I am with them. Plus, I am learning to shed my protective mama bear skin, just a little, and that, I think, is a very good thing.

5 comments:

chichimama said...

What a great post. I have the same freak out issues. It is good to realize them and start trying to let go a bit ;-).

Swimming was always M thing with the kids too.

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Mama of 2 said...

It's a great feeling isn't it? I know that while my own hubby does nothing like I would -- both my children are safe, happy and loved when with him.

Not all moms have that luxury.

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Nicole said...

My hubby is great with the kids, too. I love to watch them play together. It is such a different dynamic than with mommy and so much fun!

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J's Mommy said...

How nice! I love watching J with her Daddy. It is so sweet!

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Blog This! said...

I feel the same way about my husband. He is such a wonderful man, and loving father. I act like such a know-it-all sometimes towards him with regards to the kids. I've been trying to bite my tounge and let him do things his own way. Quite frankly, his way often is a fresh perspective and new idea I would have never thought of or known if I hadn't let him be with my sons.

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