Work to Play

This week has been, well, um, hell. My faith in other people has been challenged. My confidence in my own abilities, waivered. My will and passion, beaten down and bruised. It's been a long week of long days (yesterday was a near 20-hr day). But I kept at it. I kept going. I worked my ass off as hard as I could so that I could sit here, at this moment, to write this post about the day that is to come in mere minutes: my baby girl's birthday.

Two years ago today, I met a new little love of my life who made my heart grow and ache even more all at the same time. She is my world, as my son is, and together they are the reasons I do what I do, at the odd hours that I do, in the untraditional ways that I do, with as much joy and passion as I do. I may be fiercely independent and seem career-driven, but I am not afraid to admit that I build my entire life around my kids. I used to think it was so weird when mothers said that they lived for their kids. I wondered "don't the have their own lives?" But I get it now. We do have our own lives...AND they are always a part of it. And it's beautiful and sweet and perfect in its glaring imperfections. It is certainly nothing to hide, and nothing to apologize for.

So I endured the shitstorms life decided to throw my way this week. I tried really hard to smile through them and many times failed in my attempts to sing and dance through the insanity of it all.

But I made it. I am here. I worked like mad this week so that I could breathe and fully focus on my daughter this weekend. This is Family Day and her official birthday. Saturday is her party. Sunday is the day I attempt to work off what I ate the two previous days and also the stress and weight of the week.

Today I celebrate the day my little girl came into my life and helped make the world come alive with her exuberance, her energy, her smile, her laugh, her sweet hugs and kisses, her incredible perception and her amazingly strong presence. Even as a baby she had this gentle authority that is a mix of sweet sensitivity and don't-make-me-kick-your-ass. So I'm going to let the birthday girl be the boss of me for the next 72 hours. I'm going to replace all the negative thoughts of annoying selfish people who made work absolute hell for me this week with positive thoughts in the present and not the past. I'm going to set aside those budget surprises that said annoying people have caused to my already negative budget and deal with them next week. I'm going to shake off the week with lots of family cooking, baking, eating, laughing, singing and dancing. And maybe even a whole lotta family time doin' nothin'.

I'm here. I'm present, and I'm ready to have a rockin' weekend with my family, who is my world, my happiness. And I'm going to do so starting.... now! Happy birthday sweet Baby Tickle!


Liza's Eyeview said...

Beautiful baby, beautiful post. I get what you are saying. More than I can ever tell. Enjoy the weekend.


P.S. "They grow so fast". I used to hear that line before I ha a kid and I would not take it seriously. Now my kids are 10 and 11 - they indeed grew fast! Enjoy each moment. Your post says you will and I have no doubt you will.

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Lara said...

Happy birthday to the little one! You deserve a break...you - more than any of the moms out there in our "blogdom" are amazingly inspiring in how you mother and w/the attitude with which you take on the world. So have your cake this weekend and eat it, too, w/no guilt and pure enjoyment!

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tari said...

This must have been the stars-aligned week for self-doubt and discouragement. Cuddlement and adoration a perfect antidote.
Enjoy your weekend and your li'l wee one!

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Angela M. Russell said...

Happy birthday to your beautiful little girl and I hope you absolutely enjoy your family time.

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Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Happy birthday to your little girl!

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Anonymous said...

Wow! Happy birthday to your adorable baby girl. She is really cute.

I wonder if you'd be interested to exchange links with me? I'm mom to a 14-month-old boy and I love blogging about my experiences as a mom. My blog is at RaisingDaniel.com. You can visit it and then let me know what you think.


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kateypie35 said...

Happy Birthday to the girl with the AWESOME name. Heh.

Psst..check out my blog, I nominated you...cause you rock, obviously.


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kateypie35 said...

re: Shredding

no, you don't have to do it every day...I aim for 5 times a week..some others doing it aim for 3 times a week. The way I see it, anytime you can fit a 20 minute Shred in - hey great! And if you can't - try again tomorrow!

But um, you don't need shredding. You are in kick ass shape already my petite lovely!

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